Booze blues

Watching the horrific pictures of Gazza this last week has made me so sad as it always does when there a high profile illness or death from alcohol. Watching as faces become gaunt or bloated, skin develops a yellow hue and all the light goes out from their eyes. I think this time it has been particularly hard as it clashes with the anniversary of my sister's death from alcohol.

Lizzy died five years ago in her early 30's from liver failure. She left behind in her wake a shocked family including a 13 year old son who we eventually inherited. There were so many questions, namely how could a mum so young drink herself to death and how on earth we didn't notice it was happening.

Of course we all knew she had a drinking problem but being a true alcoholic is very secretive and private, well it is for most heavy drinkers. My dad was the exception to the norm. He wore his alcoholism on his sleeve like a badge of honour, earned initially in the 'good old days of Fleet Street'. He was unapologetic and open about his level of abuse and always seemed to have exciting adventures and encounters wherever he went, so little wonder my big sister thought that the world through the eyes of a drunk was an exciting place.

Of course the reality is very different. Being an addict is actually very boring as all that really matters in your life is getting your next fix. Alcohol at least is linked to having a good social life but it is not really the pub you are enjoying, more the booze which of course is cheaper at home. My dad was also a very functioning alcoholic, he wrote books, ran a magazine and was also a freelance journalist while under the influence. Lizzy never achieved a vocation, becoming a mum young she soon settled into the routine of staying up drinking all night and sleeping for most of the day, as soon as her son was old enough to take care of himself.

It is still the shame of having an addict in the family that allows them to continue unchecked. Even when there were family interventions they were met with such denial that it was hard to believe that everything wasn't as good as she said. At least with Gazza he seems to admit that he has a problem and wants to get help for it, after all that is the first step. Too late for my sister but hopefully not too late for others in the same boat.